With soccer over and school out for a few days, I blissfully found myself with some free time. I've had a few items on my standing to-do list, like Christmas cards, organizing photos, and getting a job, but since the latter required the cooperation of others and the first item required stamps and licking envelopes, I opted for the organizing photos.

Except I had roughly five years of digital photos that needed printing before they could be organized. And I was looking at having to order 600+ pictures. I decided to split the job in half and only ordered my law school pictures. Three years worth of Ex Partes, Casino Nights, birthdays, bar reviews, boat parties, and poker nights. In the roughly 250 pictures I ordered and organized into an album, I think I counted three events that didn't have alcohol. And of course I was a bit nostalgic, thinking about all of the friends I'd made and all of the alcohol I'd consumed over the years.

Then the sky opened up and dumped tons of snow on the ground, and I thought of how shitty it would be to have to get back to Austin today with the power outage at the airport and all that, plus I'd only have studying and being strung out on caffeine to look forward to upon my return anyway. As it stands now, I'm going to drop off my kids at school tomorrow while still wearing my fleece PJs and then run through the Starbucks drive-through for something hot to drink and then return home to work from my couch. And I'll get a decent night's sleep and not spend 2/3 of my day at the law school.

In other words, I definitely have a lot to be thankful for this year.

Try not to let finals get you down.

I'm sitting down and trying to process the material in Graglia's class pretty much for the first time, and so far I'm relieved. I'm familiar with most of the cases, thanks mostly to having taken The Warren Court. I can't help but being amused that Powe's class helped prepare me for Graglia's, although in many ways it's like opposite sides of the same coin.

Anyhoo, Graglia's exam is closed book, which seems appropriate since I haven't opened the book yet anyway. :P

Dear Section 2,

A number of you have come up to me in person and asked how to study for your last exam. Here's my advice:

Don't.

The exam you are about to take will shatter any remaining faith you have in merit-based grading. Your mind will implode trying to understand any connection between your knowledge of the material and the grade you receive. Killing yourself studying is not going to help you get a better grade in this class, and checking out now and relaxing until tomorrow probably won't hurt you. Pack up your books, go take a warm bath, call your mom, watch Lost or have dinner with a friend. But really just come to terms with the fact that no matter what you do at this point, it's not guaranteed (or even likely) to help you.

Need more proof? How about a contemporary writing? Here's what I said about this exam when I was in your shoes two years ago:

Now the question is how much effort do I actually want to put into Property? Not much, I know that. I figure that knowing my stuff in that class is not a guarantee of a decent grade anyway, so why put the effort in? [snip] I'll still make Alfred teach me the subject, as I don't want to go in there knowing nothing, but now that Civ Pro is behind me, I just can't see myself stressing over anything else at this point, other than what to wear to the End of the Year Party on Thursday night. So instead of starting on Property tonight, I'm going to go buy some cereal and milk, take a long, hot bath, and then make a fresh start tomorrow.

That's not quite what I did. I had dinner with a friend the night before the exam, and I skimmed my friend's outline that I've since passed on to many of you. Against all odds, I did well. Meanwhile I had friends who knew the subject front and back who didn't do so hot and others who knew it and did well. I knew others still who knew about as much as I did and at least got a B+. The grading was all over the place, and it's going to be regardless of whether you close down the library tonight or not.

So do yourselves a favor and take the night off. :)

I feel your pain,
Ruth

There is nothing I hate more than a poorly drafted final. Tricky finals, brutal finals, ridiculously easy finals--I can deal with all of those. A brutal final may leave me feeling violated, but I remind myself that there's a curve and then I drown my remaining worries in beer.

But there is something inherently frustrating about a poorly drafted final. And poorly is actually giving the exam too much credit. There was at least one question where I was certain he left out the prefix "un" before a key word, which of course completely changes whether the statement is true or false. Of course, I won't even go into the incredible vagueness of other true/false statements. At least Sokolow makes it clear that you should only answer True if it's always true. No such instruction on this one. And there was no page at the end to "challenge" a question. I spent more time trying to make sense of the question than trying to find the answer. Ugh.

I mean, it's one thing to be so lazy that you just recycle old exam questions. I have no issue with that, and actually prefer it if your previous exams are on the web. But to expect attendance and participation on our parts while you can't be bothered to proofread your exam before administering it? Had it been well-drafted, I might have felt some guilt or remorse for blowing off the class, but now I just feel justified.

On the bright side, though, three down, one final + one directed study paper to go. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The bad thing about floating finals is that they can be put off. As can the studying that they require beforehand.

So what did I do this weekend that caused me to put off studying for my exam? I watched 4 DVDs worth of Desperate Housewives Season 1. So far, it's the strongest season. I can see why people dropped off in Seasons 2 and 3. They're just not as good. The same thing happened with Lost (although I've been quite pleased with Season 3).

Also, I have a new and very serious crush on Mike Delfino. Not the guy who plays him. Mike Delfino. A lot of swooning was done. Don't judge me. My roommate's already judged me several times, but there's no reason to be ashamed just because you sort of slid off the couch in an oozy fashion after a particularly passionate kiss.

Nothing to be ashamed of at all.

I think I just passed my W&E final, thanks in part to the presumption against failing graduating 3Ls. Let me tell you, it feels really effing good to scribble that capital G in the upper right-hand corner of your scantron. I always thought the letter A brought the most joy to my life. Now I see that I was wrong. It's all about the G.

Also, I'm quite pleased with the tendency of my professors so far to include hilarious fact patterns such as making sweet "music" with Elvis and the hotel where "love beads and rose colored glasses never go out of style." I respect a professor who provides comic relief in the middle of their exams.

Speaking of W&E, my friend was making fun of me because I was reading about trusts and codicils on Wikipedia. But it was really helpful! OTOH, their page on the rule against perpetuities sucks. Ascher's description about the Wicked Witch turning over the hour glass was way better. Looking back, I wish I would have gone to class more. Ascher was entertaining and I felt like I had a handle on the stuff that was covered on days I did go to class. But 9:30 was early. I'm not sure at what point it became early, but it was.

Two down, two to go + a paper. Yes, I planned my last round of finals poorly, I know.

For appealing to my intense love of celebrity gossip in her final. Although it may adversely affect my grade in the end, as I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how my fantasy celebrity gossip team would have fared under the fact pattern since I'd drafted one of the key celebs.

Also, I thought ~8 pages in 8 hours was going to be easy breezy, but I must have spent thirty minutes just trying to cut my word count down to fit. >_

My attempts at studying are futile. The exam's eight hours. Anything I don't know by now can be learned during the exam.

I'm going to watch more Justice League and some Notes From the Underbelly, then Lost, then bed.

Every time I read the term "per stirpes," I picture stirrup socks with some crazy stripes.





While the mental image is certainly fun, it's probably not going to help me during my W&E exam.

Remember this post? Well, I did what I said was going to happen, but here I am, just over a week away from my first final, and I still haven't freaked out. I could be losing my touch in my old age, but really I think it's that I don't want to be here any more, and my lack of motivation is just reflecting that.

I just can't seem to get anything done or even convince myself that I need to. My Blockbuster Total Access DVDs were shipped today, though, so I'll just set a rule: no watching Justice League DVDs until I finish a set amount of studying each day. I at least need to (1) outline Family Law, (2) read my Wills outline and (3) finish my directed study paper all by this Sunday. And my reward each night will be a few episodes of Justice League, because apparently, I'm ten years old.

If this doesn't motivate me, nothing will.

It's finals-prep time, according to my calendar, and as such, I've been spending a lot of time down in George's. It's less sterile and depressing than the library, and I have the option of sitting at a table when I need to and sitting in a comfy chair when I'm just reading. Plus, there's food and drink available, and if someone stops by, I don't have to talk in whispers.

But sometimes, the atmosphere in George's seems almost too well-adjusted and stress-free.

I blame the music students.

Really, they come in for lunch or to grab a coffee in the afternoon or to "study." And you can just tell they're not law students. For one, they still have life in their eyes. But mostly, they don't project the aura of stress that the 1Ls have all the time and that the 2Ls are developing now that they've realized how much they've slacked off all semester. They come into George's, happy and relaxed, because they're on break and can't practice their recital piece without a piano anyway. They talk about composers and have sheet music strewn all over the table. They make jokes that I don't understand because I don't know the difference between a flat and a sharp.

Quite frankly, it's distracting.

But the alternative is the library, where earplug-donned students still give you dirty looks for first opening the door to the reading room too loudly and then having the audacity to unzip your book bag and unpack your belongings when you know good and well that such activities involve sound.

So, what's worse? Shooting dirty looks at the chatty music students or being the recipient of dirty looks? Being the most stressed out person in the room or the least? I suppose if I have to choose between studying amongst carefree music students or jumped up law students, I choose the former, but I'm still going to resent them for being in a good mood while they occupy my space.

Besides, it's way too late in the game for me to go up to the 4th Floor and successfully claim a table without having to first fight someone for it.

Have you ever woke up one morning and thought, "Oh, eff, my first final is in exactly two weeks and I don't know jack!"?

Me neither, although I should have done that this morning. Only I didn't, possibly due to a sequence of events including a barking dog, a roommate doing dishes, and earplugs that worked so well that I didn't hear my alarm go off, but more probably due to the fact that I'm in complete denial about finals. It's like I just haven't processed how soon they are. It's a really scary thought.

I have two weeks to learn subjects A and B (finals are that first Thursday and Friday). After that, I have 2.5 days to learn subject C, after which, I've 3.5 days to learn subject D. Oh, and throw a directed research project due date in there somewhere, and that's what I'm looking at.

So, why am I not terrified? Believe me, it's not because I'm studious and prepared. Yet the only fear I'm feeling is fear at the fact that I'm not scared yet.

Scary.

Last semester, when I was at the height of my stress due mainly to my shoddy class attendance and the need to learn three classes just before finals, I promised that I wouldn't do it again this semester. I swore that this time I'd be better, that this time I'd learn as I go and not skip class for silly reasons like "oversleeping," "going out to lunch," or "playing 4 Square in the SBA office."

But then my final grade came in today. And despite all my freaking out, I did the same as I always do. In fact, my GPA even inched up 0.01. So, I now retract my promise. I'm a 3L, graduating, and apparently class attendance makes no difference on my grades at all whatsoever. It may even be that I need the stress of not feeling like I know anything in order to kick my butt into gear and actually study.

What does this mean for you all? Mainly that you get one final semester of Ruth's Finals Freakout. And everyone loves that.

ADDENDUM: I predicted on November 8 that I would not attend any more Oil & Gas classes and that I'd be better off learning it on my own. I feel oddly clairvoyant. And a tad invincible. I must have really brought my B+ game to that final.

The Good News: I am sitting here trying to answer Oil & Gas questions, and I'm able to find the answers pretty quickly in my outline.

The Bad News: The first part of the exam is closed book.




*sigh*

Dear Self,

In the future, please refrain from taking any classes that are based in large part on property law. It's one thing to try to learn one subject at the last minute. It's something else entirely when you're trying to learn the subject AND the subject upon which it is based. It was okay in Copyright, because you--you know--actually went to class and paid close attention and stuff. But this is different. In the meantime, try prayer, even if it feels like you don't have one. Maybe even try some gospel for your study music of choice. Or go get an intricate Prison Break-esque tattoo with all of Oil & Gas law hidden within the details so you'll never get caught by the proctors. Nevermind, you couldn't afford a tattoo that intricate, plus it might create a permanent roadblock on the way toward employment. You could also try staying up all night and chanting typical O&G lease clauses, but that would require significant caffeine consumption, and we all know how that will play out. You could also plan a chemical explosion (or something with some good radiation) which happens while you're far enough away that you can avoid injury, but close enough that you get a good mutation out of it and then find yourself waking up in the morning with the power of telepathy, allowing you to just channel the professor or the Law Review kid next to you... but nevermind, that might violate the Honor Code. You could just go the old fashioned route and pay someone else to take your exam, but too many people know of your real identiy to get away with something like that now.

Or you could stop composing this pointless letter and get back to it.

Sincerely,

Self

I have finally (FINALLY!) made it through the Oil & Gas syllabus. It's like I can feel myself slowly climbing up the curve, and I just painfully dragged myself onto the ledge of B- Land. I think with a little more study tomorrow after PR, maybe, just maybe, I can make it to B Land. It's a lofty goal, I know, but I live by the belief that if you shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you will land among the stars. The B is my star, folks. The B is my star.

As I am studying learning Oil & Gas law, I am realizing just how little I learned in my property class, which is incidentally one of my best grades in law school. But when you have to look up terms like "fee simple" and "easement" and other very general property terms, it shows that something went seriously wrong 1L year. Thank goodness for study aids and Wikipedia's "Common Law" series. Otherwise I'd be incredibly lost right now...

...oh wait, nevermind. I still am.

Regret is a sucky sucky feeling. I don't much care for it. I really think I'm going to attend more class in the spring. You know, finish strong and all that.

Back to the grind. And by grind, I mean brain-stabbing.

I was chatting with an old friend via Y!M the other day, and remembered how vastly superior the Y!M smilies are to every other instant messaging program. Not only did the smilies cover pretty much any feeling I wanted to convey to my old friend, but they also accurately illustrate every type of feeling and characteristic you can have during finals.

The All-Nighter

Still wearing the same clothes from the previous day, the All-Nighter face is the default expression of a person who leaves an average of two notes a week in the suggestion box in the Tarlton, asking that the library be kept open 24 hours per day during finals. In the meantime, he sets up shop in the Tom Clark Lounge and lives off of the hot pockets, donuts and milk in the vending machines. The All-Night face may be due to the of writing a paper, a last effort for Wills & Estates, or homelessness. Whatever the reason, when you see the All-Nighter face, you can sometimes count on him to push you up a spot or two on the curve, usually because his lack of sleep finally caught up to him... during the exam. The All-Night face can be seen in approximately 2% of the law school population (not counting 24-hour exams).

The Generally Confused

The most common expression during exams (especially among the 1L class), a number of people aren't freaking out, they're just a little confused about the rule against perpetuities, about property law in general, or perhaps about law school itself. The Generally Confused will be sprinkled throughout the curve, as some will watch their confusion drift away happily during the exam while the confusion of others will be apparent in their answers. The Generally Confused make up about 54% of the law school population (closer to 68% among 1Ls).

The Worry Wart

Despite having a 3.81 GPA, the Worry Wart is the face of a person who continues to stress during each finals season. Each exam period, the Worry Wart has to isolate herself from the world because any time someone starts talking about a class she's in, she starts having visions of Ds and Fs. Always seconds away from either crying or laughing or vomiting, the Worry Wart knows that all of her anxiety is pointless, but she just can't seem to help it. 93% of Worry Warts spent a lot of time doing theatre in high school and college. This may or may not explain their current behavior and repertoire of facial expressions.

The Law Review Kid

Self explanatory.

The Flirt

The Flirt can be spotted by her low-cut shirt, often seen hanging out with The Law Review Kid or the professor himself. She may or may not be heard saying things like "I'd do anything for an A."

McSerious

Remember when your friend was so much fun throughout the semester? Do you often look at him now, thinking, "I don't even know who you are anymore." Fear not, your friend is just a McSerious (full of fun until Thanksgiving, and then incapable of cracking so much as a smile again until his last exam is over). Be warned, his Jekyll & Hyde personality will return every exam period, so you may just want to avoid him during finals.

The Stressor

The Stressor is usually in abundance towards the end of finals when a number of students just. can't. take. anymore. The Worry Wart and the All-Nighter faces are at particularly high risk for morphing into The Stressor.

The Cry Baby

Related to The Stressor, but 99% of Cry Babies are female. Extra points for doing it in public, like me. ;)

Laptop Eyes

Pretty much anyone who types their own outlines. Seen on about 70% of the 1L population, and about 40% over all.

The Calm & Collected

It's okay to openly hate them. Sometimes you can make yourself feel better by making fun of their outfit or spreading nasty rumors about why they're so confident.

Pre-Exam Prayer

Even the non-devout can get in on this one.

During-Exam Ruth

Yeah, this is pretty much how I feel during most exams. I call it my "B+ Face."

Immediately Post-Exam

I know Forbath's 1Ls felt (and some of them even looked) like this on Tuesday. I felt like that after Copyright last spring.

1 Hour Post-Exam

When you feel like no matter what you got on the exam, you're just glad that bitch is over. This feeling is short lived, however, as you begin to gear up for the next one and your face reverts back to The Worry Wart, The All-Nighter, or the Generally Confused.

Post-Exam Period

See you downtown!

Post-Post-Exam Party

Sleep never felt so scrumtrilescent. I, unfortunately, won't get to enjoy this one until the day after my last exam once I've completed the gazillion hour drive home.

The Professors

Bastards.




*Lest anyone think I was the first person to come up with a list like this one, check out Mike and Russ for a more in-depth look at exam time personalities.

Dear 2Ls and 3Ls,

This is either your 3rd or 5th semester taking finals at the law school. That means you've probably used Exam4 once or twice in the past. Guess what? It hasn't changed significantly from previous semesters. Neither have most other exam policies. You still need to know your exam number, for instance. So taking up oodles of time getting your shit together and asking inane questions during the beginning and end of the testing period was something that could be overlooked when you were a 1L, but now you just look ridiculous. I know the stupid questions may just be a result of nerves, but try to keep it in check. Because other people's anxiety manifests itself as violent reactions to stupidity. I'm not saying I'm one of those types. But they do exist. You've been warned.

Sincerely,

Ruth


Dear 1Ls,

Please get your stupid questions out of your system now. Your classmates will thank you next year.

Sincerely,

Ruth

*Originally posted Dec. 18, 2005 under the title "Killing Me Softly With His... Exam." Edited to reflect current class load. New content is overrated.

Ruth is sitting in the library when she catches a hooded figure in a black cloak and carrying a scythe walking around as if lost. No one else on the floor seems to notice him. Ruth thinks she's having a caffeine-induced hallucination, and tries to ignore him. She fails. The figure then realizes that Ruth can see him and moseys on over in a manner much too jovial for his outfit. Ruth is now way uncomfortable as he walks towards her.

Ruth (whispering): I don't think they allow scythes in the library.

Death: THERE'S NO NEED TO WHISPER. THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU WHILE YOU'RE TALKING TO ME.

Ruth: Which, of course, raises the question... how come I can talk to you? It seems like no one else even sees you.

Death: SINCE YOU'RE KILLING YOURSELF OVER YOUR CONFLICTS EXAM, YOU GET IN ON A TECHNICALITY. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF METAPHOR.

Ruth: ...

Death: ANYWAY, CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO GET THE ROOF? SOMEONE'S DUE TO JUMP IN A FEW MINUTES, AND IF I'M LATE THAT'LL MEAN A LONG AND VERY PAINFUL RECOVERY FOR THE JUMPER, AND AS SOON AS I FILE ALL THE PROPER PAPERWORK FOR LATE DEATHS, I'LL JUST COME BACK FOR HIM ANYWAY. BETTER FOR HIM TO GO QUICKLY.

Ruth: Oh, shit! Someone's going to jump? We need to call someone, we need to--hang on... why would anyone here want to jump off the roof of the Tarlton? I mean, finals can be tough, but isn't that a little over dramatic?

Death (pulling triplicate forms out of his cloak pocket): WELL NO ONE EVER SAID DEATH HAD TO BE BORING. ACCORDING TO THIS PAPERWORK, THE JUMPER'S SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT FAILING OUT OF LAW SCHOOL.

Ruth: That doesn't make any sense. You don't fail out of UT Law.

Death (scratching head): I'M FAIRLY CERTAIN THIS SAYS "I'M GOING TO FAIL OUT OF LAW SCHOOL!" SEE, RIGHT THERE. (Death points.)

Ruth (scanning paperwork): Oh, I see the problem. You're at the wrong school. See there? It says "Baylor Law School."

Death: OH. SO IT DOES. I JUST SAW 'TEXAS' LISTED UNDER STATE, AND JUST ASSUMED I SHOULD COME HERE.

Ruth: It's okay. Everyone would rather come here than Baylor.

Death: I SHOULD GET GOING THEN. THAT POOR STUDENT'S DUE TO JUMP ANY MINUTE. I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW, RUTH.

Ruth: Tomorrow?

Death: OH YEAH. THAT CONFLICTS EXAM IS GOING TO KILL YOU.