My body feels like I spent 10 hours straight at the gym.

But really all I did was go to Ex Parte. I blame the alcohol. And maybe the inappropriate dancing.

Speaking of alcohol, I apologize to anyone I may have spilled on. I promise it wasn't my fault. I was trying to drink from the pitcher when someone danced right into me and sent beer sloshing. I think most of it hit me, though. Good thing I was wearing an apron.

Why is it that after a night of heavy drinking, no matter how late I went to bed (e.g. 5:00 a.m.), I always wake up precisely at 9:00 and am unable to go back to sleep? I really could have used more than four hours.

In other news, I made it all the way through Ex Parte. This is a very proud moment in my life. As was the drinking-directly-from-beer-pitchers thing. I think that that's actually dangerous, because it's harder to keep track of how much you've had. I also kept losing Contestant B, but I mingle when I'm drinking. I find it impossible to stay put for any length of time. Oops.

In further other news, my costume buddy and I rocked the hizzie with our ensemble. Only the people who arrived early got to see our stand in its full glory, complete with the lights on, but there were still lots of people who asked us to take pictures with it throughout the night, so it didn't disappoint. My only regret was having to abandon it at Scholtz. I did salvage the lights and the sign, though.

I also painted a guy blue last night and helped him trim his cutoff shorts another three inches. So awesome.

I am so excited about Ex Parte that my whole week is shot with regards to everything else. Class? Spent IMing people to see what their costumes are. Office hours? Spent talking to people about pre-parties, post-parties, and Ex Parte itself. Free time? Spent being a perfectionist over my own costume (speaking of which, ladies that I know in real life: do any of you have a curling iron that is 1/2 inch or thinner? I need one.). My costume partner and I have already procured the necessary transportation. And I went ahead and signed up to work the first shift, which means I get to have fun for the rest of the night, but may not help me to reach my goal of making it through the night. Now I just have to wait for the Big Night to actually arrive.

*waits*

*waits more*

Is it Friday yet?

Contestant B now has gets to spend at least some of Ex Parte with yours truly, chosen by AC readers. (I do hope the readers have not made a bad choice.)

And I promise that this year no one will have to send me home in a cab at 12:30!

So congratulations, B. I like to think of myself as quite the catch, but perhaps I'm biased. ;)

2 Slurpees... $1.19 each
3 Xtra Large U-HAUL boxes... $3.75 each
2 aprons... $4.87 each
1 package of iron-on transfers... $9.99
2 tubs of yellow tempera paint... $1.75 each
2 paint brushes... $1.12
1 foam core board... $1.99
10 wooden dowels... $1.12 each
1 roll duct tape... $5.99
2 collar shirts... $4.99 each

Having the best costume ever for Ex Parte... priceless.

There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's student loans.

Don't date law school guys. That's the general advice. And I've followed it for the most part. The problem is that I don't know any guys in Austin outside of the law school, so my dating life has been pretty nonexistent. And now I'm coming up on my last Ex Parte ever, and I've never taken a date.

That's where you all come in.

Qualifications: Eligible contestants must be a UT Law student over the age of 21 (no faculty or administrators, please). They must be able to meet me at Ex Parte by 9:30 (I have to be there early as an SBA member). They must possess a sense of humor and an ability to not take this contest uber seriously. They must not be jealous that I am already costuming with a friend. They must be willing to keep me company while I am on duty (again, SBA stuff) and willing to dance with me when I'm not on duty. Since I'm not promising any hanky-panky to anyone, both guys and girls are eligible so long as they meet all of the other eligibility requirements. If it happens that I absolutely can't stand the winner because he or she clearly just used me to go to Ex Parte, the winner will be released from the date, but I reserve the right to announce his or her name on the blog and publicly call him or her an asshat.

Entering the Contest: Click on "Leave a Comment." Copy the 12 questions below and paste them into the comment box. Fill in your answers (points are given for originality and sense of humor) and click "Post Comment." I will then select my three favorite answers and post them by this Thursday, the 19th at noon. Contestants will be dubbed A, B, and C. Readers will then have a chance to vote for their favorite through Tuesday, October 24 at noon. I will then tally up the votes and announce the winner (A, B, or C) that same day, just before Dancing with the Stars. If you have no idea what I'm talking about in a question, look it up. Because "I don't know what you're talking about" isn't a fun answer.

Entry Form

Name: (this will not be posted publicly, but going on a date with someone whose name I don't know is kind of scary to me)
Email address: (again, this won't be posted, but we'll need to make arrangements at some point)

1. You can tell a lot about a person by the kind of drink they order. What is your drink of choice?

2. What is your favorite Will Ferrell SNL sketch and why?

3. Who should win Dancing with the Stars this season? In the alternative, explain why Vivica A. Fox should still be on the show in 50 words or less.

4. Is Severus Snape working for good or evil? What makes you think that?

5. Pretend for a minute that one of my two favorite Ex Parte theme suggestions, "Ex Partes on a Plane," or "Snakes on an Ex Parte" was selected. Describe the funniest theme-related scene you can think of. Points given for costume descriptions/funny sayings/decorations.

6. If you were a Supreme Court opinion, which one would you be and why?

7. What song are you most hoping to dance to at Ex Parte?

8. Favorite Supreme Court justice, past or present. Explain why.

9. What is the funniest commercial on TV right now? (Extra points for a link to said commercial online.)

10. What do you think will be the most popular costume at Ex Parte this year?

11. Pretend that you got to choose the theme for this year's Ex Parte. What would it be?

12. Explain why El Paso is the best city ever.

EDIT: Comments are screened, so no one but me will see your name/email.

Even though I spent most of Ex Parte in the ladies' room, I still had a great time.

Ruth's Favorite Costumes

• Mr. Clean. Extra points for the fact that he was drinking beer from the Mr. Clean bottle.


• The guy who went as a clitoris. Simple, but brilliant.


• Rainbow Brite. Adorable.


• The three 1Ls who "left their briefs at home" and wore kilts. Extra points to the one in the vest who proved to me that he'd left his briefs at home. Very sexy. Makes me proud of the 1L class, actually.


• Then Trojan Man. Extra points for giving me a condom.


• Ron Burgundy and Brick Tamlin. They were in character, too. *loves*

Ruth's Favorite Ex Parte Moments:

• Listening to Mr. Clean explain that he hadn't washed the bottle enough so the beer burned when he drank it.


• Taking a picture with Ron Burgundy and Brick Tamilin.


• All of the moments in which I wasn't throwing up.


• Trying to put a bald cap on a friend who was going as Popeye and deciding that a bald cap is sort of like putting a condom on your head.


• Drunkenly flirting with the kilt guy. Fun times.

So next year, hopefully, I'll get to enjoy the whole Parte, and not just the first half.

Also, feel free to share your favorite/wild/funny Ex Parte moments. Mostly, because I'd like to know what I missed out on.

Last year, the day after Ex Parte, I said, "Damn, it's November, and I haven't started outlining my classes yet."

This year I said, "Shit, it's November, and I haven't started reading for my classes yet."

Next year I'll say, "Fuck, it's November, and I haven't started going to my classes yet."

Yay for mediocrity!

---

In other Ex Parte news, I would like to thank all of the girls in line for the bathroom who let me cut in front of them in order to vomit. Oh, and also the girls (you know who you are) who put me in a cab to get me home. But the biggest thanks goes to the one who stayed the night with me and clipped my hair out of my face and brought me PJs. I don't actually remember putting the PJs on, so I hope that wasn't the result of a really awkward moment.

So last year, I got kicked out of Ex Parte around 1:00. This year, I left around 1:00 because I started vomitting 'round midnight. It just doesn't make sense, though. I had four drinks. Four drinks. I drank tons more than that in a shorter period of time two Wednesdays ago and was fine. I'm so confused. ::facepalm::

And now my head feels like people were dancing on it all night, so I think some Motrin and some Juan in a Million are in order.