According to my Google Calendar, I meet with Professors Young and Kadens tomorrow to discuss clerkship stuff, including why I want to clerk and my strengths and weaknesses as an applicant. I suppose at that point I get to explain to Professor Kadens (Prof Young already knows all this, I'm sure) that I pretty much blew off much of law school with the exception of a class or two or four, that I don't have any journal experience nor do I have any real advocacy experience to offset it, and that my grades are woefully average because I rarely apply myself to my studies.

I'm kind of scared.

UPDATE: So the appointment went fine. I could feel my heartbeat in my chest just before I walked in, but afterward I just felt silly for being so anxious about it. On the other hand, I am the two-time winner of Outstanding Achievement in Freaking Out, so I wouldn't really be Ruth if I didn't make bigger deals out of things than I needed to. My preliminary judge list was approved, and I won't feel awkward approaching the three professors they suggested for letters of rec. Professor Young did suggest that I not exaggerate my grades being bad on the blog, just in case a judge's law clerk should read it.

So, if you are a judge's law clerk, my grades aren't quite as bad as I make them out to be. If you're a law student who is tired of those know-it-all bastards in the top half of the class, I'm right there with you and invite you back to further commiserate about grades and how they suck. If you are unable to tell when I'm exaggerating to be silly, I haven't decided if that's your bad or my bad. I suppose it depends on whether it's my goal to effectively convey when I'm being silly or if it's my goal to make you all believe what I'm writing. And since I'm way too much of a slacker to actually sit down and assess my goals, I don't really know. Ah well.

Professor Young also suggested I finish law school strong, which I was totally planning on doing already. I even attended 1/3 of my classes yesterday. I fully intended to go to 2/3 of them, but an emergency came up and I missed my 11:30 class. Funny enough, I felt bad missing that class since I intended to go, but back when I had no intention of going, I never felt bad. Can someone explain that to me?

So my inner glutton-for-punishment has decided that I should consider maybe possibly doing the clerkship application crap again this year. In retrospect, I can see where I could have done things way smarter in the application process, and also I really did want to clerk for the experience more than for the prestige. (People who celebrate mediocrity aren't normally attracted by prestige.) For those reasons, I found myself at the mandatory meeting thing yesterday. My thoughts in no particular order.

1. Professor Kadens is scary. I see now that she totally deserved her Jammie last year. I would have cried every day I was in her class. Loved her electric blue blazer though.

2. I respectfully disagree with her assessment that listing "Harry Potter" as an interest on your resume signals that you're not a mature adult. First, I think she may be unaware of the Harry Potter fan demographics. Second, I know tons of attorneys who are not only fans, but have actually written substantial amounts of fan fiction. Third, I think that if one happens to apply to a judge who is fond of the books as well, that could be something to set you apart. Fourth, if the point is to list "interests" about which you're actually knowledgeable, then I know a hell of a lot more about Harry Potter than I know about anything else I've got on my resume. Just saying.

3. Professor Young cracks me up. When Professor Kadens said not to list Harry Potter as an interest on your resume, he looked right at me and appeared to stifle a laugh. He also said he wouldn't help me get a clerkship if he wins the Outstanding Achievement in Confusing Students award. I suppose he'll have to wait a few more days to find out about that. ;)

4. When I went to find Professor Young after the presentation to ask him a few questions, I was shocked to find that there wasn't a line of 2L Law Review kids with their lips permanently attached to his ass. Is the class of 2008 lacking in brown-nosers? Any time I tried to find him in his office, there was always a mile-long line outside full of Law Review kids from my class. I'm just confused about what's different about the class of 2008. (This is in no way intended to be mean to Prof. Young. I happen to like him a great deal, and if I had done the write-on and made it on to Law Review, I probably would have taken Fed Courts and kissed his ass on a regular basis too. Only, I would have been funny about it.)

5. The pizza was entirely disappointing.

6. I hate asking for letters of rec.

I just finished my bidding. I used 15/60, and of that number there are really only two firms that I'd really want to work for. It got to the point where I felt disgusted with myself for even clicking "apply" because it seemed dishonest in a way. Like a little piece of my soul was being destroyed by the mere thought of applying. I need a new strategy, because this isn't for me. I feel dead inside right now.

On the bright side, I've completed 10 judicial clerkship apps. Now those I'm excited about. The irony of the whole thing is that I probably won't get a judicial clerkship, and then I'll get an offer for some place I hate.

I despise job hunting.

So, the clerkship advisor says I should apply for clerkships in New Mexico too. I appreciate the advice, and will maybe add judges in Santa Fe and Albuquerque. But I would sooner transfer to Baylor Law School than spend a year in some place like Las Cruces. Sure it's only like 30 miles from my parents' place, but it's a long and sucky 30 miles. No clerkship is worth that.

Rain has finally stopped. For now. Sun is out. People are dancing in the streets. I swear I saw a calf being sacrificed a few houses down from mine. Scary times.

Meanwhile, the neighbor kid and I got up on the roof for a second time yesterday to tar it some more between downpours. Then we dug a small trench next to the house where it flooded, in hopes that it will draw the water away from the house during the next rain instead of into our family room. I've never seen this much rain in the 12 years I've lived here. Even the Rio Grande overflowed, and it's normally dry. It was just madness. I've never been so happy to see the sun in my entire life. And I'm sore. I'm not sure what from--the tarring or the digging--but I could sure use a hot bath except or the fact that I don't want to immerse myself in yet more water. I also somehow managed to get tar on my ass, and it was a bitch to remove. And we're apparently expecting more rain today. *sacrifices another calf* (Just in case.)

In clerkship news, we're apparently supposed to use our best recommenders on OSCAR whenever possible. But how do you know who's writing you the best recommendation? I would hope that my recommenders wouldn't have agreed to write on my behalf if they couldn't write a good recommendation for me. So I would hope they're all good. Because I need all the help I can get. On the bright side, Prof. Young gave me the thumbs up on my list and said I had an "outside chance" of getting a clerkship, which was much more encouraging than I expected.

Lastly, Ruth's Fall OCI 2006 Forecast is not looking too bright right now. So far, I've put in one bid. I think I'm going to have to get a little more creative in my job search. I'm starting to think that a firm job was just not meant for me. The stars are against me or something.

So I was on a roll with the whole write cover letters to 87 judges thing, until I got to the judge for whom I worked last summer.

Then I had a brain fart.

I mean, what do I say? "I really hope that I didn't screw up last summer. Can I work for you again?" "I know I haven't spoken with you since last summer, but I'm writing you now because I'd really like a clerkship."

I would actually love to work for him again. The judge was great, his permanent staff was great, and I love the area. But how do I put that in a cover letter without sounding stupid? *head scratch*

Ugh. I thought I'd have a small break from all this clerkship stuff, but no. Now we apparently have to have a bunch of OSCAR shit done by August 1st, which includes converting all my crap to PDF format before uploading it. And of course, Word won't do it for me, so I had to download a PDF converter thingamabob.

Now, a question. Let's say, hypothetically, that I worked for a federal judge before. And let's say, hypothetically, that I wrote a short opinion which he then he or she then had published in the Federal Supplement. And let's say further that he or she said I could use it as a writing sample. Would it be okay to then use that as a writing sample with other federal judges? Just wondering. OSCAR allows us to upload more than one writing sample, so I was thinking about adding that as one I'll use.

This clerkship stuff will be the death of me, and I haven't even started thinking the fact that I don't have a job for after graduation yet. *sigh* Is it Friday yet? I could use some whiskey.

EDIT: Also, I asked a professor back in May if he'd recommend me, and I walked out of his office thinking he'd said no. But now I think he may have said yes tentatively, and eventually decided to write for certain judges, but I don't know. And now that I have to list my recommenders on OSCAR, I think I have to just come out and ask and explain how I thought he'd said no, and ask if he changed his mind. And if he did say yes, then that means I now have four recommenders, which seems a bit much (not like I can't use all the help I can get, mind you). But some judges only want two letters, and how do I choose? Gah. How do I get myself into these messes? ::headdesk::

Manged to finish off judges list in time to meet the deadline. Now eagerly awaiting Professors Kadens and Young to contact me and ask what the hell got into my head and made me think I'd be able to snag a federal clerkship. And then I'll... erm... I don't know. Haven't planned that far ahead yet. But it will probably involve me going on with the application process out of a mixture of denial and stubbornness (shaken, not stirred).

However, to cheer me up when that moment of Ruth-pwning arrives in my inbox, I have the following passage, which got runner up in the 2006 Bulwer-Lytton awards:


"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' -- and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?".

*giggles*

That's totally going in my facebook profile.

Went through half of my judge list tonight to (a) see if I actually want to them and (b) whether they are actually hiring. Managed to eliminate nearly half the names on my list. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but in my mind it means writing fewer cover letters. I'm glad they extended the deadline for this crap, because I hadn't done any of this. Hell, I still haven't written my one-page narrative, but my recommenders don't seem to mind, seeing as they're all on vacation and have loads of things to do that are way more fun than reading my stupid narrative. I <3 my recommenders.

In other news, do you think if I told Justice Ginsburg about this blog, she'd hire me?

I've decided there is a purpose to the tedious nature of the judicial clerkship process; it's apparently the first level of weeding out those who don't have the stamina by making them click a mouse 8,749 times in a two hour period.

The more stupid clerkship deadlines find their way to my inbox, the more I want to say bugger to the whole centralized mailout thing.

*throws things*

*clicks mouse more*

*sigh*

You know what would have been nice? Having more than five days' notice that clerkship shit was going to be due.

Okay, yeah, I could've been doing this stuff since school got out, but damn! Couldn't we have had an email like two weeks ahead of time to warn us? Now I'm scrambling and feeling just a tad overwhelmed. *whines*

My inner cynic feels like I shouldn't even bother because I'm not a top-notch student. But my cheer-for-the-underdog side feels like if I get a clerkship, I'm somehow beating the system because they aren't meant for people like me.

EDIT: Grrrr... my wireless connection just gave out. I want to post, dammit!

EDIT 2: Gah! What if I don't have evidence of skills and qualities that judges are looking for? How am I supposed to write this one-page narrative? *cries*