Thanks to the reader who reminded me that results are coming out this week. I'd meant to do a post on the matter, but seeing as I've successfully repressed all memories having to do with the bar exam except the one having to do with November 1, 2007, the date slipped my mind. But instead of a post that attempts to lift your spirits on the matter (because let's face it, when you're awaiting exam results there is no lifting your spirits and reminders that statistically you're not likely to fail don't. help. at. all.), I'm going to frankly address the other side of it.

What do you do if you fail?

Now, I can't commiserate personally on the matter. But I didn't pass by much so my fears about failing were at least credible. I wasn't one of those assholes who goes around trolling for sympathy by whining that I'd fail and then pass with flying colors. No. My score was low enough that it's plausible that a few lucky guesses and a handful of keywords on the essay when I didn't know what I was talking about may have made the difference. So when I cringed at people who reminded me of the statistics or told me they were sure I'd pass because I was so smart, I wasn't feigning modesty. And due to my own weird mash of faith in a higher power, a belief in what's meant to be is meant to be, and fear of jinxing things, I absolutely refused to answer this question for myself until it needed answering. As the days ticked down, though, the question nagged at the back of my mind and were accompanied by visions of various and increasingly unlikely scenarios. In the end, it was a bridge I didn't have to cross, but I'm going to try to dig through those repressed memories and see if I can help you cross it, should the need arise.

So... what do you do if you fail?

1. Cry. No, really. Go ahead. It's okay. You probably need it. Let the disappointment and frustration and self doubt wash over you and just cry it out. Cry for a few days if you need to. In fact, for the first week, go ahead and cry every time you have to tell someone that you failed. And yeah, telling people that you failed will be humiliating and depressing. But it won't kill you.

2. Figure out why you didn't pass. Be honest with yourself. Did you totally freak out and stare blankly at the MBE instead of, you know, filling in bubbles? Did you go get hammered the night before? Or every night leading up to the exam? Did you only attend a third of the Bar/Bri lectures? Did you just never get the feel for the stupid fill-in-the-blank procedure questions? Was it a combination of more than one? Whatever the reason(s), figure them out, and figure out whether they could be addressed if you decide to take it again.

3. Understand that failing the bar does not mean you're not smart. One of my biggest pet peeves was when people insisted I'd pass because I was "so smart." But smart people fail the bar exam too. And if you click that link, you'll see that even famous smart people can fail the bar exam.

4. Once you've done 1-3, pick yourself back up and make a decision: are you going to take it again in February or not? This will depend a lot on the answers you come up with in Step 2. For example, if your dog died the day before the exam and you couldn't read the exam questions through your tears, that may not be an issue come February when you've had some time to move on from your loss. On the other hand, if you hate the law, hate the study of it, hated Bar/Bri, and therefore had a hard time putting in more than two hours a week of preparation, that might still present a problem in another few months. If you think that whatever kept you from passing in July poses a serious threat of doing it again, then do some soul searching and figure out whether being a lawyer in Texas is really what's right for you.

And if you do decide to take it again, there's no shame in that either. I took the bar exam at the same time as a bunch of other El Pasoans. We'd gone to various law schools, including UT, Yale, Wisconsin, Indiana, and others. More than one of us did not pass. One of those guys took it again in February, passed, and started working in the same courthouse as I did during the same week that I started. His life wasn't over. I see him a lot and he's doing just fine.

So end of the world? No, but I'm pretty sure it'll feel that way at first. Which is why Step 1 is crying. But when your tears run out, figure out what you want to do from there and just do it. And if someone tries to make you feel bad about not passing, shove your bar review books up their ass. But not if you've decided to retake it, because then you'd have shitty bar review materials, and shitty bar review materials won't help matters at all.

...but most of you are probably too drunk to read this right now.





Also, I've always said that the Class of 2008 is my favorite and that my most loyal readers come from this class, and I stand by that statement. Even with no new content, I was getting about 30 readers a day. The day before you took the bar exam, I didn't have a single reader. Either something was amiss with my stat counter, or y'all were taking this bar thing pretty seriously. ;)

1. I spent the Saturday before the bar reading Harry Potter.

2. I spent the Sunday before the bar driving from El Paso to Austin.

3. I spent the Monday before the bar taking practice tests, trying not to freak at how little I knew and how I'd studied so much less than everyone else.

4. I spent the Tuesday evening of the bar sleeping (okay, and re-reading Harry Potter).

5. I spent the Wednesday evening of the bar watching TV (yeah... and re-reading Harry Potter)

6. I spent the Thursday lunch break during the bar crying on the phone to my mom about how I was going to fail because I didn't know the subject of the first essay.

7. I spent the next three months simultaneously trying not to think about the bar and praying that I'd passed it. You try praying for something without actually thinking about it. It's effing hard, y'all.

8. I spent the nine months following the bar wallowing in the depths of unemployment and stubbornly refusing to leave El Paso.


Sometimes there are happy endings, even if it's hard to see this week.

If I can pass, you can pass.

I got a phone call from my boss yesterday, which at first made me think, oh shit, because I've been useless this week since my cold sucked all the life from me. I don't get sick often, but when I get my One Cold Of The Season, it's usually bad. Meaning, I hadn't done any work because using any muscle--including my brain--used up more energy than I had. But because my boss is Teh Coolest Evah, he was just calling to let me know he'd mailed some more stuff and to just rest up and get better until it arrived.

And now that I don't have to spend today in a tizzy over results as I'd originally planned (thank all that is good for early release!), I have a carefree day ahead of me, limited only by my continued lack of good health. So far it looks like I'll be sitting on the couch watching last night's Smallville and Grey's Anatomy and then the rest of Season 1 of Avatar: The Last Airbender (don't judge me, it's super cute). Then maybe a little HD Discovery Channel or perhaps a trip to Blockbuster for more Avatar if I'm feeling up to it. The house is trashed, and I thought about cleaning it (not to mention take down the Halloween decorations) but all of that seems very tiring. As does my plan to shop. So TV and DVDs it is! (And pumpkin icecream and Throat Coat tea.)

By the way, it seems I've a pile 50 lbs worth of gently used books I no longer need. Any of you 3Ls taking the February exam?

Starting Monday, The Final Job Hunt gets a complete revamping. Stay tuned.

I passed.



ETA: Okay, so I've been pretty sick this week and just sitting upright in front of the ole' laptop drains what little energy I have, so I haven't been on the computer much. And I had a weird vision that I was going to find out about the bar from someone texting me, since I wasn't around the computer to update the BLE page over and over. Sure enough, just after I'd pulled myself off the couch so I could pick up my brats, I heard my phone's text message alert. My heart started hammering. "Please, oh please don't let it be condolences," I thought. It was my friend in NY with congrats.

So... I'm totally adding "psychic" to my resume.

Also, too sick to get hammered. Woe. Will settle for champagne and chicken noodle soup instead.



ETA2: Awww, as I look up more and more people a few names aren't turning up. I don't know what to say, guys. My heart goes out to you.

And now all of this excitement has used up all of my sickly energy. How lame is it to go to bed just now?

The DirectTV guy is coming on Tuesday to install the new HD DVR.

I CAN HAS DVR NOW!

My VCR will make it's final appearance tonight (sad, really, since I only recently learned how to program it), and starting tomorrow the Heroes/Dancing With the Stars time conflict will be a worry of the past. Smallville coming on at an inconvenient time? Who cares? I can already feel the overwhelming sense of relief that will wash over me once my life is no longer dictated by prime time television.

While I would have really preferred TiVo myself, it's apparently very cable-centric, and wouldn't allow me to record both Heroes and DWtS at the same time with satellite. Bastards. But whatevs. I'm quite happy with this setup.

Things I'm not happy with: friends in other states are getting bar exam results. And while I'm totally happy for them that they passed, the news that results are trickling in all over the country makes me want to vomit, quite frankly. I haven't had a full-blown panic attack, but I can feel one coming, and that sucks almost as much. I haven't thought at all really about what I'll do if I don't pass, so at this point I'm just trying not to think about it at all. But yesterday I saw a movie preview on TV for something that opens November 2, and I was a little shaken up by just seeing the date on television. So, yeah, we won't be doing any thinking about what-ifs if we can avoid it. Ugh.

Congrats to those of you who have passed, though, and condolences to those who didn't.

In a little over a week, it'll be September. Meaning one month of wating down, two to go. All I want to do is put the bar exam and the possibility that I didn't pass out of my mind, but I'm finding that a little difficult since EVERY PERSON I TALK TO WANTS TO KNOW HOW THE DAMN THING WENT!

Sorry, my CAPSlock key seems to have stuck, there.

But seriously, I just want to try my best not to think about it (other than my nightly prayer that I will (a) pass, (b) get a job soon and (c) marry Orlando Bloom), but every time I run into someone I haven't seen in a while, the first thing they ask is, "How'd you do on the bar exam?"

I tell them that I won't know until November.

"Well, how do you think you did?"

"I think there's a decent chance I might have failed, actually."

"You? No. You're so smart. I'm sure you passed."

Grrrr. Way to ensure that I'll feel even crappier if I fail despite being "so smart." I know these people mean well, but how hard is it to say, "I really hope you passed," or "I'll pray that you passed"? Because every time someone else is so dead certain I've passed, it feels like one more person I risk letting down. And it also makes it impossible to just put it out of my mind until November, because everyone keeps bringing it the eff up.

So, for future reference, dear readers, please refrain from ensuring people that they passed. Statistical passing rates? That's cool (they're actually the only thing that makes me feel better), but never ever tell someone that you're sure they passed.




Unless they're on Law Review. Because I'm sure all those guys passed.

It's true what they say. It was absolutely horrible.

People told me I would hate law school. I came to UT expecting to do just that. Instead I thought it wasn't so bad, and then I actually liked it. Not so with the bar. People said I would hate it, and while the studying was boring as hell, it was nothing compared to the exam itself. I was probably as prepared as I could have been for the substance of the exam (although stay tuned for details on that). I was not prepared for the sheer physical, mental, and emotional exhaust of it all, which all came to a head yesterday at lunch, when I called my mom sobbing that I didn't want to do this again, but that I was probably going to have to since I wasn't even sure what subject the first essay was. I also left the morning part of the exam with 40 minutes to go, because I didn't know anything and studying had sucked away my creativity and ability to make shit up as I go. I turned in three essays that were no longer than one page. On the other three, I at least managed to drop in some key terms that were consistent with the area of law, but I'm pretty sure I still got the rules wrong.

I'm not sure who I'm more upset at: the Bar Examiners for throwing us a constructive trust question cleverly masquerading around as a possible BA question, or BAR/BRI for telling us to focus on priorities in secured transactions so that we were probably all unprepared for the repo question. WTF.

Then I wasn't even able to get properly wasted last night due to my whirlwind trip to Houston today for interview, round 2. I think it may have been the best interview of my life. It's probably because I had no strength left to care, so I was more myself because I thought it didn't matter if they didn't like me, since I probably just failed the bar exam and would have been let go right after that anyway. It's also possible that judgment is just skewed, and it really went terribly, but I was just too numb to realize it. Whatever, I'll find out in another month.

I'm now safely back in Austin for the night, just to drive another 9 hours tomorrow. I'm glad I made the decision to drive back to Austin this afternoon, because Houston driving terrifies me. There are way more lanes on the freeway than I know what to do with, and I feel like 45 just sort of sneaks up on you as if it's trying to trick you to get onto it. It may be better that I don't get an offer, because I would probably have to be prescribed anxiety meds just to drive back and forth to work every day.

Well anyway, that's the state of Ruth's life in a nutshell. Have fun on your bar trips. I'll be sure to hate on you properly next time I talk to you. I'll try not to be bitter as I take my bar trip to the side of the pool. Of course it's rainy season in El Paso, so I'll probably just end up bitter anyway. Finally get to sit lazy in the sun all day and there's no sun to sit and be lazy in. Hate. Maybe I'll call my cousins and make a week-long trip to Aspen and do some hiking and get in touch with my happy side again or something. Whatever. I'm just done and that's what matters.

It's not because I didn't spend enough time studying this summer.

It's not because I panicked during the exam.

It's not because of the 12 hours I spent reading Harry Potter on Saturday.




It's because someone, somewhere in my vicinity in the Crockett Center has offensive body odor and it keeps wafting towards me during the exam, rendering me completely unable to see straight, let alone choose the correct answer. And I know he or she is sweating from pure nervousness, because it's approximately 40 degrees in the Crockett Center, so s/he can't actually be hot.

Of course, by the end I suppose it wouldn't matter anyway, since my brain began protesting any form of thought by 3:15 p.m. At that point I began rationalizing my answer choices with such reasons as, "Well, I like cookies, so the seller should prevail," or "I don't like the name Monty, so defendant gets convicted of murder." By 3:40, all I could think of was the twelve pack of Diet Cherry Coke waiting for me in the fridge, and by 3:50 I began planning how I would study differently in February. When the test was finally over, I called my mom, but all I was able to say was "Ouch." I'm not sure she quite understood.

All I want to do now is curl up in bed, cry, and drink some Jack straight from the bottle. Instead, I'm going to shower, cry, get food, and head to the library because I don't know what a holder in due course is. Bleh.

I'd say that you're in my thoughts, but there's really no room for you in my head now that it's filled with requests for disclosure and answers to interrogatories and Level 2 discovery plans. Ugh.

Things I'm Glad I Did Even if I Fail the Bar:

1. Studied in El Paso. So yes I was distracted by extended family, an ubercute (and walking!) 9-month old nephew, and an equally cute dog. Any day of the week, I'd rather be distracted by those things than by my friends freaking out and predicting doom for one and all. While it's nice to know that I'm not the only one scared shitless, it's quite the slippery slope. First you are comforted to know that you aren't alone, but then you start comparing level of freaked-outedness to amount of preparation. So if A studied more than B, but is also freaking out more than B, than B starts thinking that he's in denial and hasn't done enough and will clearly fail. But at the same time, A is thinking that if B didn't study as much as him and is calmer, than clearly B is better prepared and more comfortable and therefore more likely to pass than A. I caught just a glimpse of that mentality tonight after getting back into A-town, and there is no way I could have survived a whole summer of it.

2. Read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I loved it. Perhaps it was because it was the only reading I did that wasn't published by BAR/BRI or the El Paso Times and therefore I had no choice but to enjoy it, but I thought it was perfect. Now, few of my readers here are familiar with the years I was heavy in the Harry Potter fandom, but a lot of the stuff I'd said would happen happened, and things that I doubted would happen didn't. But aside from being pleased with how the series ended (Lemony Snicket could take a few notes from JKR), I felt happier while/after reading it than I had all summer, which led me to make this ( comparison to the story with spoiler ) It's just clear and convincing evidence that the Bar Exam has a bit of Voldemort's soul in it. ;)

3. Watched Smallville Seasons 1-5. Okay, I'm only half-glad. I'm glad because I really enjoyed it, and it was a nice way to end each day, which was always long, no matter how much study time I put in. But now I'm stuck waiting until September for Season 6. Hmph.

Things I Will Never Say to Someone Preparing for the Bar

1. Say, "Don't Worry, You'll Do Fine." Logically, I know that worrying is pointless, and honestly, it's not like I sit around and contemplate what I'll do if I fail the bar. But if one more person says to me, "You're a smart girl, I'm sure you'll pass," I might A. Be convicted of voluntary manslaughter rather than murder because this is adequate provocation. Seriously, smart people have failed this exam before. Yes, that doesn't mean I will, but their "assurances" do nothing but belittle everyone's hard work. It really makes me irrationally angry when they say it. I will tell people, "I have no words of comfort for you, but I've been there and I feel for you now." Or something a little less dorky sounding.

Things I'm Going to Do Tomorrow

1. Get My Oil Changed. Pretty self-explanatory. My "Maintenance Needed" thingie changed from green to yellow on the drive here. I don't want to take any chances.

2. Turn in Some Law School Keys. I think they're the reason I don't have my diploma yet.

3. Look at MPT Stuff for the First Time Ever. But seriously, how much can you really practice that? Follow the directions and be organized. If I managed an A- on my closed memo in LRW, I think I can snag a few points on the MPT. Right? Right? Anyone?

Things I'm Going to Do Right Now.

1. Sleep. Twelve hours in one spot yesterday while reading. Nine hours in one spot today while driving, and then an additional three in the library. Ruth is sore, and tired, and sore.

Dear Ruth,

When leaving a voicemail for an attorney regarding potential employment, try to keep the "ums" to a maximum of one total. Congrats on sounding like an idiot to someone you were hoping would give you a job.

No love,
Self


In other news, I'm super stressed out (raise your hand if you're surprised), and also on a substantial media hiatus. I'm afraid to even check my email for fear of Harry Potter spoilers. I ordered the book from Amazon and got the release-day shipping, so I should be able to study up until the time the book arrives and avoid any "Snape Kills Dumbeldore"-esque drive-by spoilers at the book store. Normally, I'm a spoiler whore, but in a sorry attempt to focus on my studies, I've kept all Harry Potter exposure to a minimum. Basically I read the crappy articles about the book release in the El Paso Times and that's about it. I also read something forwarded to me by a friend from Cracked.com, but it didn't say anything new to me. So for the first time since 2001, I'm going into an HP book completely unspoiled. Starting as soon as I post this entry, I will stay 20 paces away from any intrawebs connection. I'll report back after I've read consumed The Book.

Lastly, my post-bar drinking binge plans have been somewhat hampered by an interview. On the one hand, it's an interview that brings me one step closer to employment. On the other hand, it'll suck being the only sober one Thursday night. I suppose I can act as designated driver...

See you Sunday...

This would be my hypo:

Clark, while under the influence of red Kryptonite, discovers that Lex and Lana are having an affair. Enraged, he runs to the mansion, determined to confront Lex and make him pay for all the times he'd pried into Clark's life. When he gets to the mansion Lex's head of security, John, tries to stop Clark from entering. John was a diabetic. Not wanting some diabetic security guard to slow him down, Clark used his laser vision to melt John's gun, telling John that he "was next." Scared for his life, John fled, tripping over a tree branch that had fallen to the ground in the most recent tornado. Clark then found Lex in his study. He walked up to him and said, "Stay away from Lana!" and then punched Lex, sending him flying through the air. Lex yelled, "You had your chance with her Clark. She loves me now!" Clark shouted that he was tired of Lex ruining his life and he was going to put an end to it once and for all. Clark picked Lex up by the neck and began choking him. Lex struggled, and managed to kick the red Kryptonite out of Clark's shirt pocket. As Clark came off the red Kryptonite influence, he immediately set down Lex, who promptly grabbed a lead box holding green Kryptonite and exposed Clark to it. Weakened and fearful for his life, Clark used his laser vision to melt through a chain that he thought was holding up the $500,000 chandelier hanging above Lex's head. Unknown to him, it was actually holding up a $760,000 chandelier hanging in the entrance to the study. Just as the chain snapped, Chloe walked in, just in time for her interview with Lex about his father's many misdeeds. The chandelier fell on her head, injuring her severely.

Assume that Kansas retains the common law definitions of crimes, Clark can be convicted of:

A. Assault, battery, and attempted murder of Lex.

B. Assaulting John and Lex, burglary, attempted murder of Lex.

C. Assaulting John and Lex, burglary, attempted murder of Lex and Chloe.

D. Assaulting John, burglary, battery of Lex, attempted murder of Chloe, and destruction of property.

What say you?

After completing 17 contracts questions this morning, I was dismayed to discover that I'd got 10 of them WRONG. And for the first time, I really believed that failing the bar exam is a very real possibility.

And then I vomitted. Which is still infinitely better than a panic attack.

So my question is: at what point am I going to start remembering enough of this shit to do better than 7/17? Because I really could have that happen now. Especially since I then went on to go through a Procedure and Evidence Exam and maybe manage partial credit (and nothing more) on each question. *bites nails*

If you want bar study observations that are more clever and less depressing than my own, I suggest you check out this friend of mine, because he's funnier than I am. Basically, this is my way of apologizing to you, dear readers, because I rarely even make it to my computer on most days (which caused loads of problems w/r/t clerkship stuff). I study, sunbathe, go to fast pitch softball games, study, and watch Smallville (I'm up to Season 5). I'm scared shitless, and yet still uninspired (and unemployed). The sad part is that I go through the motions each day and jot down possible blog topics in the margin of my Lecture Handout book tome, but then I never make it to the laptop and by the time I do, the only thing on my mind is how much this all sucks. I'm mostly worried about what happened to the real Ruth and how I became such a bad impression of her. Ugh.

I hope there's a happy ending after all of this is over.

It's no secret that I'm not blogging much these days. Truth is, I don't have much to say. The highlight of my day is often playing a little Wii, and I don't think any of you are interested in reading a post on substantive Community Property Law (no matter how amusing/adorable Stan Jo may be in his lectures) or the details of my ass-kickings in Mario Party 8. And since I've nothing else to report on, really, what's the point?

Still no job, but it's really hard to focus on the job hunt right now. Also, I think I'm supposed to start paying back like $100,000 in student loans, but honestly, I'm not sure who my lenders are and I don't really have the energy to find out. My permanent address hasn't changed since 1994, nor has my phone number. I'm confident they can find me if they want to. I'd order a credit report, but those scare me.

Moments of panic hit me every now and again. For example, the other day, I was in the middle of a Wills lecture, and it dawned on me that I remembered very little from Consumer Rights or Commercial Paper. Actually, I don't really remember anything about Commercial Paper except the small bit about checks that I already knew and I don't remember anything about Consumer Rights except that there is something about tie-in statutes and it's possibly important because of actual damages or something. So yeah, stuff like that = small moments of panic for Ruth. They usually pass, but only after several deep breaths, a mug of hot tea, and a chair massage by a nice lady named Rose.

I've also become addicted to Vitamin Water, but limit myself to one a day because they're not cheap. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my life in a nutshell.

So, now I know that it was good to write "for deposit only" on checks I was cashing and stuff and that I should draw a line after the payee's name or whatever, but at this moment in time the word "warranty" is doing nothing more than serving to make my brain melt. There was something about the payor/forger/baker being able to sue the payee/obligee/candlestick maker for breaching the predicament warranty. Or something. I really wanted to give the guy some downers so that he'd slow down enough that I might be able to make sense of something--anything--he was saying. Too bad iPod doesn't have a slow motion button. Looks like I'll be cracking open the Convisor Mini Review for this one...

About the only concrete thing I was able to take away from the Commercial Paper lecture was that the lecturer missed his calling as a game show host. "I'm Professor Beyer, and this is COMMERCIAL PAPERRRRRRR!"

Smallville

Making full use of my beatimous Blockbuster Total Access (far superior to Netflix because of it's in-store exchange option), I've started on Smallville Season 1. I've always been interested in Smallville, and it turns out that I watched the first three episodes or so when it first started. Smallville, like any other on-screen comic book adaptation, appeals to my inner geek, and I've been loving ending each day with an episode or two.

However, Superman has always been one of my least favorite superheroes due to his being utterly boring. He grew up with wholesome parents and didn't have any drama in his life other than that of a normal teenager. Also, his super powers don't come from any weird explosion or anything, but simply from being born on another planet. I've always found Batman loads more interesting. I find the same thing in watching Smallville. I find Lex Luthor WAY more interesting than Clark Kent (although the actor who plays the latter is way hot). I'm going to stick with the series, mostly because I want to see how (or if) it begins to work its way into the Superman story as we know it.

Nintendo Wii

It turns out I have one last paycheck from UT coming my way June 1. It will just about cover the cost of a Wii. My brother-in-law has a 360 already, but I fell for the Wii after playing Wii golf. So. Much. Fun. Plus, let's face it, I never outgrew any of the Mario games. I'll play on nights that I'm waiting for another Smallville DVD to arrive. *grin*

OMG 8 hours a day, seriously?!?

Are any of you really doing 8 hours a day? It's so. Effing. Hard. I can get through the lecture fine (O&G notwithstanding), and I can even spend an additional hour or two in the evening making flashcards. But I doubt I've hit 8 hours in a single day yet. I hit 4-5 on average, but I'm usually satisfied with 6. Yet, I feel like I'm working all the time. Ugh.

Also, I haven't even cracked open that long outline book. All the lecturers keep saying not to worry about all the stuff in there, that they've done all the hard work for us, etc. I think I'll look at it when I make my Crim Law flashcards, because Dix's outline was super concise, and I'm not sure I've got a real handle on the common law versions of everything. Had it been Texas Penal Code, I would have been all over that, but I don't remember really learning the common law stuff 1L year. Maybe had something to do with my professor dying and then my switching into another Crim Law class after Spring Break...

Anyway, I feel like I'm not doing enough, but I also feel like reading the long outlines will just freak me out. Class of 2006, any suggestions? Current bar-takers, how goes?

I thought O&G was boring when I took the course (hence the early checkout), but now, after struggling through the first half of the O&G lecture, I'm really ready for a snoozer. Or four shots of espresso (haha, j/k... no panic attacks for Ruth this summer, thanks). Seriously, though, this has so far been the driest lecture and most poorly written outline yet. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the next two hours.


Also, figured out another Con for iPod study: every time the lecturer coughs, drinks, or clears his or her throat, it's right in my ear.

So gross.

So today began bar study. It wasn't so bad. Sokolow's pretty good about repeating the stuff you need to write down. I was hurrying to keep up with him a couple of times until it dawned on me that I could pause the iPod. I learned more about Contacts today in three hours than I learned all of 1L year. The law makes a lot more sense when they just tell it to you.

So far, I like being able to do BAR/BRI on my own time. I got started at 8 am this morning, and I did the Into to the Texas Bar first, even though it wasn't on the Austin schedule until tomorrow. You don't really have to write anything down during that one, so I did some dishes while I listened. The baby cried a few times during my lecture, but he wasn't easily heard over the headphones, and then I realized it was beautiful outside, so I just moved my stuff out there. If I noticed I was spacing out, I paused, stretched, refilled my caffeine, and then hit rewind to listen to whatever I missed. It was great. Almost worth the additional $1100 BAR/BRI charged jacked me for.

The fact that law school is over hasn't really hit yet. I keep thinking I'm just home for the week, and then I remember that the entirety of my one bedroom apartment is currently stacked up in a 7' x 12' shed. *sigh* It's Write-On time. Not missing that. Also not missing the compulsive grade-checking. I've checked twice. Once because one of my mentees was curious as to whether my scantron exam grade had been posted. Once to see if my CR for my Directed Study had been posted. The second time, I was pleasantly surprised to find my Con Law II grade, which was way higher than I'd expected after having attended pretty much three times and then trying to learn the entire course in three days for a closed-book exam. I'm actually quite pleased with myself, despite the fact that my GPA's going down for the first time ever. As long as it stays above the Honors cut-off, I'm cool. *crosses fingers*

Anyhoo, I've still got 4 hours of study I have to put in at some point today. Being unable to slack off sucks. :(