ATL has been showcasing some law school parody bits from NYU, Columbia, etc. And Ray from TJ's Double Play has posted his favorite Libel Show song. There is no way I can sit back while everyone else partakes in parody play love.


So here's one of my favorite songs from this year's Assault & Flattery show... (the sound doesn't always match the image; I think this was taken with someone's digital camera [but not digital camcorder]).



Pay special attention to the awesome beat boxer. :)

So tonight I was backstage talking to a professor just before he was about to go on stage to sing his song. About midway through our conversation it dawned on me that I was wearing nothing but dance pants and a sports bra. The sports bra looks more like a tank top, but still... how embarrassing to be talking to a professor in nothing but a friggin sports bra. Gah.

On the bright side, I was fully dressed by the time Dean Sager came backstage.

In other news, my hero (aka Buffalo Wings&Vodka) was at tonight's show and he both (a) thought I was funny and (b) gave me a hug. My life? Totally complete.

Your lives, however, will not be complete if you haven't seen Willy Wonka and the Bad Legal Pun. But don't worry; there's still time. We have one more show Sunday, March 4 at 2:00 and tickets are $10 at the door. And anyone who attended the show can get into the Jackson Walker( 1 ) wrap party Sunday night at Buffalo Billiards. Just bring your ticket stub and join the cast and crew as we get completely plastered on a Sunday night the way things were meant to be.

By the way, how funny was Dean Sager tonight? His "think twice and then think twice again" before using flash photography line? Comic genius.



¹ I think that was 12 times. Does that work?

You want to see this show. You need it. Trust me.

Dear Readers,

All creative energy is currently being sucked away by Assault & Flattery, SBA, and the Job Hunt of Doom. Please do not expect anything of interest to appear here until the nominations for the Second Annual Joe Jamail Awards for Excellence in Legal Education are announced. FYI, that won't be interesting either if you don't start nominating people. I've gotten some good nominations, some surprising nominations, and some typical nominations. What I don't have is enough nominations. I especially want to hear more from the 2L class. Where are you guys? You were out in full force last year. I'm disappointed.

So... in summary. Creativity = MIA. For now. Nominations also = MIA, and only you all can fix that. I'm depending on you. Don't let me down.

Sincerely,

Ruth
Fearless Blogger and Over-Committed Law Student Extraordinaire

So tonight I cemented some movie plans with a friend for Friday and knowing that I have a lot going on, I decided to put it on my g-calendar.

Um, yeah. Then I realized exactly how much I have going on. Every night this week is rehearsal, rehearsal, rehearsal. And class, and more rehearsal and stuff. Scenes here, scenes there. Rehearse rehearse rehearse. Dance dance dance. Which is mostly good, because I need all the practice I can get with the dances. And is even better because some of my textbooks are still wrapped in plastic, and all the rehearsal makes me feel a little justified in that, whereas if I didn't have rehearsal I'd have to justify it with "I'm a 3L," and that excuse is *so* last semester.




In wholly unrelated news, tonight I discovered Cherry Coke Zero. Cherry. Coke. Zero. I still think I'm going to prefer my beloved Diet Cherry Coke, but I grabbed this new stuff to give it a fair chance. So far, so good. We'll see after a few more cans, which means that by noon tomorrow, I should have a verdict.

Take one out-of-shape Ruth, put her in dance shoes and have her dance for nearly four hours straight. Ouchie. My legs hurt, my chest hurts, my arms hurt, and I think I left my feet at Belmont Hall. And this is just a few hours removed from the dancing. I have a feeling that getting out of bed tomorrow morning is not going to be easy or fun.

Tonight's agenda: a hot, 2-hour-long bath followed by a massage. (By the way, any chance that one of you readers is a massage therapist?)

Tomorrow's agenda: avoid getting out of bed as long as possible.

"How did we get home last night?"

That was the question posed to me by my roommate at 9:00 this morning. Five hours prior to that question, we were still going strong at A&F's first party of the year. Due to recent party-related controversy, I would like to say that ours did not offend anyone except the neighbor (she lived two blocks away) who came over to complain about the noise. But in the spirit of neighborly relations, we made our flipcup game silent after that, complete with golf clapping by the winning team.

In true Ruth fashion, I completely made an ass of myself, but I feel like people have come to expect that of me. My most embarrassing moment came when I thought it would be a great idea to drunkenly smoke a cigarette. Only... I don't smoke and on the few occasions I'd pretended to smoke, I didn't inhale. So there I was, looking like an eighth grader smoking for the first time, complete with the coughing and the other party-goers laughing at me. The splitting headache I had this morning? I blame that on the cigarettes. Or the alcohol. Or both. Best. Idea. Ever.

There was a time when I could drink really hard and not feel it the next day. I think that time is officially over. I am hurting. Hur-ting.



Oh, and I still don't have a job.

Now that Assault & Flattery is over, I must admit that I'm a little overwhelmed. For example, right now I have no food in my apartment (which, by the way, could probably be declared a disaster by the governor), I still haven't put away my clean laundry from last Wednesday, and my dirty laundry is strewn throughout my place, occupying every free spot except the hamper. I have dishes piled up so high in and around my sink that I'm shocked that little creepy crawlies haven't come to nest yet. I have managed to keep my cat fed and watered, but only because I have one of those pet dishes that you only have to fill about once every two weeks or so. I do, amazingly, have two rolls of toilet paper (I won't mention whether I took those from the girls' bathroom at school or not). On the other hand, I am now very glad that I had the foresight to keep extra deodorant in my locker, because I ran out at home. If you see me wearing my glasses tomorrow, it's because I'm out of contact solution.

I haven't even begun to address my classes, which present the biggest challenge yet. I'm guessing that I'm pretty far behind in all of them, only have no clue just how far behind I actually am. I tried reading for BA today, but the reading built upon concepts we should already know from past readings. However, I have yet to read those assignments, so the one today made absolutely no sense. Today I have oral arguments in one of my classes. I read the case for the first time last night, and put together my bench memo in record time. This is for the same class in which my last "25-minute" oral arguments stretched to roughly 50 minutes. To say that I'm absolutely terrified of being eaten alive by the professor today just doesn't do my fear justice. On top of that, the professor I work for sent me stuff to cite check, and I've no idea where my Bluebook has gone off to. The worst part of all this, however, is that when I finally do sit down to make myself do work, one of two things happen: either I just fall asleep on my book/laptop/supplement, or I become sidetracked by the song stuck in my head, which is inevitably one from The Big Dzienkowski.

My only consolation is that roughly 90 other people feel the same way right now. I think. The rest of you from A&F are just as lost as I am, right? Right?

We interrupt the Jamail Awards in order to bring you this important message about Assault & Flattery.

10. Laughing makes you feel good.
9. The Sunday night cast party (which your ticket stub gets you into)
8. Because you could use a study break.
7. Vince Young cameos.
6. Professor Wellborn as himself.
5. Professor Dzienkowski as the Big Dzienkowski.
4. BW&V singing.
3. Hearing Joshua Terry (aka Shawn Rutherford) scream, "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!"
2. Nudity. Completely pointless and uncalled for nudity.
1. Duh. I'm in it.

Tickets are on sale all this week in the atrium. Yours truly will be manning the table on Wednesday. The Saturday night tickets are going fast, so don't wait until I'm at the table to buy yours.

Stay tuned for more Jammie awards later today.

While I was at my friend's place "sobering up" this morning (by which I mean I was drinking beer instead of whiskey), it dawned on me that I probably would have had a better chance of hooking up with someone after Casino Night if I'd spent less time dancing with girls and guys who aren't into girls. *ponders*

But damn, those guys who aren't into girls sure can work it on the dance floor. This conversation took place early this morning:

Friend: Did you see [Mentor] dancing with that girl in red dress? It was hot.

Ruth: Actually, yeah. That was me.

Friend: Oh. Damn. Y'all were hot.

Ruth: Yeah. I sorta regret not being male in a way.

---

For my obligatory Go See Assault & Flattery statement of the day, I would just like to let everyone know that I plan on having the babies of every single person in Medley, including the women. They sound that good. Ladies, bring extra panties. One of the guys singing is going to have you throwing them onstage afterwards. Hotness.

Jamail Awards are being worked on. Watch this space.

Even though I trust that you all have already purchased your tickets to The Big Dzienkowski, here's a little enticement for the rest of you.

Click here to see an exclusive sneak preview of Kayne West and Professor Lino Graglia. (In order to download the clip, you have to close the ad and click "download.")

Also, don't forget to get in your votes for the Jammies. UPDATE: Due to an expected increase in traffic thanks to BW&V's link to the awards, the voting period will be extended until I get around to tallying them up sometime this weekend.