Just when my financial situation couldn't seem more bleak, an esteemed professor hired me as his research assistant. There is now a small shrine in his honor built out of Popsicle sticks and glitter and occupying the corner of my laundry room, complete with pumpkin spice scented tea candles.

That sigh you just heard? That was my overwhelming relief. I CAN HAS JOB NOW! Part time and temporary, yes, but it's enough for now.