Don't date law school guys. That's the general advice. And I've followed it for the most part. The problem is that I don't know any guys in Austin outside of the law school, so my dating life has been pretty nonexistent. And now I'm coming up on my last Ex Parte ever, and I've never taken a date.

That's where you all come in.

Qualifications: Eligible contestants must be a UT Law student over the age of 21 (no faculty or administrators, please). They must be able to meet me at Ex Parte by 9:30 (I have to be there early as an SBA member). They must possess a sense of humor and an ability to not take this contest uber seriously. They must not be jealous that I am already costuming with a friend. They must be willing to keep me company while I am on duty (again, SBA stuff) and willing to dance with me when I'm not on duty. Since I'm not promising any hanky-panky to anyone, both guys and girls are eligible so long as they meet all of the other eligibility requirements. If it happens that I absolutely can't stand the winner because he or she clearly just used me to go to Ex Parte, the winner will be released from the date, but I reserve the right to announce his or her name on the blog and publicly call him or her an asshat.

Entering the Contest: Click on "Leave a Comment." Copy the 12 questions below and paste them into the comment box. Fill in your answers (points are given for originality and sense of humor) and click "Post Comment." I will then select my three favorite answers and post them by this Thursday, the 19th at noon. Contestants will be dubbed A, B, and C. Readers will then have a chance to vote for their favorite through Tuesday, October 24 at noon. I will then tally up the votes and announce the winner (A, B, or C) that same day, just before Dancing with the Stars. If you have no idea what I'm talking about in a question, look it up. Because "I don't know what you're talking about" isn't a fun answer.

Entry Form

Name: (this will not be posted publicly, but going on a date with someone whose name I don't know is kind of scary to me)
Email address: (again, this won't be posted, but we'll need to make arrangements at some point)

1. You can tell a lot about a person by the kind of drink they order. What is your drink of choice?

2. What is your favorite Will Ferrell SNL sketch and why?

3. Who should win Dancing with the Stars this season? In the alternative, explain why Vivica A. Fox should still be on the show in 50 words or less.

4. Is Severus Snape working for good or evil? What makes you think that?

5. Pretend for a minute that one of my two favorite Ex Parte theme suggestions, "Ex Partes on a Plane," or "Snakes on an Ex Parte" was selected. Describe the funniest theme-related scene you can think of. Points given for costume descriptions/funny sayings/decorations.

6. If you were a Supreme Court opinion, which one would you be and why?

7. What song are you most hoping to dance to at Ex Parte?

8. Favorite Supreme Court justice, past or present. Explain why.

9. What is the funniest commercial on TV right now? (Extra points for a link to said commercial online.)

10. What do you think will be the most popular costume at Ex Parte this year?

11. Pretend that you got to choose the theme for this year's Ex Parte. What would it be?

12. Explain why El Paso is the best city ever.

EDIT: Comments are screened, so no one but me will see your name/email.